Fear, Faith & Love

A couple of weeks ago, our air conditioning went out. So, I called the property managers and they sent a man over to fix it. His name was Lee, and he just happened to arrive when Bubba had gone down for a nap, and I was using the quiet time for scripture study. He came inside to talk to me about what he was going to do, then as he headed out the door, he asked with an enthusiastic smile, “Is that a Bible?”.
I smiled back and said, “Actually, it’s a Book of Mormon!”. I was totally bracing myself for his friendly demeanor to change and maybe act awkwardly or not know what to say to me. If people act that enthusiastically about the Bible, that likely means they REALLY like the Bible. And sometimes if they REALLY like the Bible, they might be less willing to be open to the idea of The Book of Mormon. They might not realize that I also believe the Bible to be the word of God, and that I own just as many copies of the Bible as I do the Book of Mormon.

However, he quickly replied (still with a big smile), “Bible, Book of Mormon... either way, that’s really great! I just had some of your guys over at my house last week (referring to the missionaries). I myself am a devout Catholic, so I’m a lost cause for you guys (he chuckled). But my daughter let them in and I’ve got to tell you... I sat there and just listened as they had the most beautiful conversation about faith.” 

What a great surprise! No awkward reactions, no disapproving words, just kindness and respect. We talked for the next few minutes about our beliefs and our faith, and the most amazing feeling was present in the room. Just before he left to go outside and finish his work, he shared with me that he had been really struggling financially and his family was suffering for it. He had been praying and praying, and just before he arrived at my home that morning he had received a phone call with a very unexpected job offer. And I had the privilege of rejoicing with a perfect stranger over God’s mercy and beautiful blessings, and sharing the faith of answered prayers. 

He left, and right then and there I prayed and thanked Heavenly Father for allowing me to have that interaction with Lee. I began to wish that I hadn’t felt that initial fear of rejection. It’s a tough thing to deal with because my faith is everything, literally. It determines how I act, how I spend my time, how I dress, who I married, how I parent, my education, my career... And for someone to reject my faith feels like they are rejecting me. But I wished that I had been like Lee, and had instantly and fearlessly shared words of kindness and respect, without first wondering if I was going to be rejected. Because so what? So what if someone rejects me? I know that my Savior Jesus Christ will not reject me. And He will lift me up when others do. I want to be fearless about being rejected for what I believe in. I want to care less about what people think, and more about what God thinks. I want to be fearless about sharing love, regardless of what I receive in return.

Because Lee was not afraid to share his faith and his kindness and respect with me, we were able to share an awesome few minutes where the Spirit and the love of God were in the room with us. And suddenly we were not a Catholic and a Mormon. We were a brother and sister, a son and daughter of God. And it felt like the most natural thing in the world for him to share those personal things with me, and the most natural thing in the world for me to rejoice with him for it. 

I’m so grateful for my Savior, who was not afraid to be rejected for MY sake, who suffered all things, and who loved fearlessly all the way through it. I know He lived, I know He died, and I know He lives again. I know that He loves me. And though I may question things about my faith and my religion, I do not need to question His love. It is there, for those who seek it, and for those who don’t. And I hope that sometimes, my love for others will lead them to find His. Just as Lee’s did for me.