Tonight? (From March 2nd)

Deja vu. A Monday night, almost midnight. My deadline for being able to give birth at the birth center just about 20 minutes away. I wonder if at 12:15 I'll start having consistent contractions. :) I feel like tonight may really be the night, especially since I'm pretty confident that my body has major emotional ties to the last time I gave birth.

I've been praying this week a lot and have come to feel totally at peace about going back to the hospital to have this baby, even thought it's not my dream experience. It's nice to feel so supported and have feelings of peace from the Spirit. God is good. I really feel loved as I come so close to this experience.

Tonight I felt so full of love as I held my sweet Bubba, snuggled and kissed and sang with him in his dark cozy room before I put him to bed. One of the best sounds in the world is hearing his little voice say "nuh-night Mama" as I walk out of his room. It makes me want to run back and just hold him forever. It's hard to imagine loving another baby as much as I love him, but I know that I will. And that is so so crazy exciting. 

This pregnancy has been different than my first. Less back pain, thank goodness. I have been in better shape, stronger and more agile until the very end. I feel good, minus being sick during this last part. This little baby moves constantly, which has allowed me to feel confident that he is doing well each day. It's not a hyper moving though. It's just a constant rolling around all the time. I think I have another sweetie on my hands, like Bubba. I am so excited to see what he looks like, and what immediately strikes me as being different from his brother. 

I am so humbled to be given this opportunity to bring another life into the world. Come on, sweet little baby! I want to hold you!