The Product of Pain

Fear. Illness. Fear of more illness.

Homesickness. 

Miscarriage. Infertility. 

Abandonment. Infidelity. Failed marriage.

Loss of faith. Loss of identity.

Financial hardship.

Child custody battles.

Depression. Anxiety.

Addictions. All kinds.

Disloyalty. Betrayal. Abuse.

Death.

Loneliness.

... Just to name a few painful things. Things which several people very dear to me are currently dealing with. Not to mention the countless others who are also suffering, unbeknownst to me.

We've all had those conversations, those thoughts like... Why do bad things happen to good people?What did I do to deserve this? How am I supposed to get through this really horribly hard thing? 

And so on.

Lately, as these hard times have fallen on friends, I've been thinking. 

You know how special it is when something great happens in your life, and you have family and friends to share all the joy with? It's warm and light and unifying and wonderful. It's loud excited noises and jumping up and down and bear hugs and laughter.

Well, as great as that is, I think that there is something to be said for what pain does for us. When we experience pain together, it is quiet and heavy and gut-wrenching. It's tears and tender long embraces and holding hands while saying nothing. 

After experiencing heartbreak and betrayal in a relationship, you are able to really feel a piece of the pain a friend feels as they are going through something similar. Knowing the joy of having a baby, a whole new world of feeling joy with others has opened up to me. Who could my elderly lady friend turn to when she lost her husband to cancer? A friend who had also dealt with the loss of her spouse, and could truly know what to say to her.

Years down the road, you will remember who was with you on the best days of your life, and they will hold a sacred place in your heart. You will also remember who was with you on the very worst days. And they will be sacred too. 

There really is beauty in pain. And that gives me so much hope.